General ravings, Musings

Jhadoo-Pocha reflections

Jhadoo-Pocha Reflections

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

[Omar Khayyam]

I’ve always enjoyed doing jhadoo-pocha ; for the same reason I enjoy washing dishes, and scrubbing the bathrooms, and watering plants, and chopping vegetables and cooking and so on.

Jhadoo pocha helps me relax; reflect on things. Today, it helped me remember Omar’s lines.

Sure, jhadoo-pocha can be tough; especially when doing the two flights of stairs, 15 steps each (I live in a duplex). But even as the cervical and lumbar vertebrae perform painful calisthenics in counter-rhythm with the swishing jhadoo, even as the knees buckle and thigh muscles catch fire with every swipe of the pocha-cloth, I remind myself that during ‘normal’ (pre-lockdown) times, my help the incredible Meera does this task cheerfully and uncomplainingly seven days a week. Not just that: Meera dusts the entire flat, and sweeps and washes the terrace too thrice a week, and then she goes and does daily jhadoo- pocha and dusting in a friend’s flat as well, before returning to her own home where she, with her eldest daughter’s help, does jhadoo-pocha and dusting and also cooks and washes dishes and clothes and goes out shopping for supplies and generally does all that it takes to take care of a family of five including two school-going children.

Jhadoo-pocha teaches me humility. Like Covid-19 does.

It reminds me to count my blessings. It reminds me to look on the brighter side of things, and I do believe there’s always a brighter side to things. Even to this Covid-19 pandemic that’s keeping half the world indoors, 24/7, for a month and more.

Like: Covid-19 has at one stroke (or two coughs if you like) solved the climate change crisis. It has achieved what hasn’t been achieved by thirty years of global bickering and conferencing on how to combat climate change by cutting down on CO2 emissions from burning fossil fuels like petrol, diesel, furnace oil and gas. Thanks to Covid-19, almost all transport and industry throughout the world has come to a standstill for a month or more. So, across the world, we’re burning much less fossil fuels than usual (as the IEA graphic shows).

IEA impact of Covid19

And so, even while contemplating the possible extinction of a sizeable proportion of humanity because of Covid-19, I offer a respectful namaskaaram to the little virus for saving all Life on Earth from the devastation that might have been caused by human-induced climate change.

Of course, solving the climate change crisis will bring its own consequences. Like possible job losses to all those whose careers depend on the climate change crisis continuing to remain a crisis because of human stupidity and arrogance, so that they can research and reason and advise and argue and advocate and ideate and implement innovative ideas to avert the energy and climate change and resources crises on an ongoing basis.

People like me!

horror

I write part-time for a research institute that’s working on things like technologies to improve energy efficiency in industry, reduce greenhouse gas emissions, and conserve natural resources. This writing earns me enough so that I can spend time writing what I really like most to write—crap like this—which earns me nothing at all.

So what does the future hold for me, and others like me, if climate change is suddenly no longer a big issue?

What will wildlife conservationists do if threatened species suddenly emerge from where they’ve been hiding fearfully all these decades, and frolic and cavort and thrive as they’ve started to do, thanks to Covid-19 locking up humans indoors and thereby cleansing the air and the land and forests and lakes and rivers and seas of noise and foul emissions and toxic effluents?

What will economists do if there are no discernible economies left to misdirect? What will teachers do if all kids learn what they want to learn online? How will advertisers and marketers avert starvation when no-one’s buying anything anymore because no-one’s making anything anymore and no-one’s got the money anyway?

What will become of the politicians, the religious kooks, the war-mongers, the committed journalists, and all the countless others who survive and prosper by turning human against fellow human by sowing seeds of deceit and suspicion and envy and hatred, watch the ensuing chaos, carnage and mayhem… and then, when the bloodlust is temporarily sated and the mobs vanish into guilt-ridden silence and the raging fires settle, move out cautiously to peck over the remains like buzzards over battlefield carrion, seeking glowing embers of anger and grief that they can use as seed for future anarchy? How will all these men and women survive when the common people realize – as they already are – that we are all united and equally frail, equally vulnerable before Covid-19 the Great Leveller?

Thoughts like these fill me with foreboding…and also a mad exultation.

For 5000 years, we humans in our vanity have believed that the Great Universal Creator (peace be upon the many piece-meal names we have given It) created humans to rule Earth.

Well…Covid-19 reminds us we’ve been a tad arrogant. Viruses don’t have grandiose pretensions like we do. From a virus’ point of view, the Great Universal Creator created humans only to enable the virus to make more little viruses.

That’s all that the virus wants to do. Procreate.

From our myopic viewpoint, the virus’ way of procreating may not seem anywhere close to as much fun as our way of procreating can be for us. But then, who are WE to judge? For all we know, those little viruses are in realms of absolute ecstasy as they take control of our cells and multiply.

And what of the future?

As far as we can tell, viruses don’t think too much about the future. Indeed, the only goal of a virus seems to be to simply BE.

Curiously, learning to simply BE is also the ultimate goal of spiritual seekers among humankind.

Perhaps there’s a lesson hiding in there…

General ravings

Emissions of Guilt

India is spearheading international efforts to combat the threats of Climate Change. With the 25th Conference of Parties due to take place in Madrid in early December 2019, and with the Winter Session of Parliament already on, the Lok Sabha Secretariat has prepared a small glossary of select terms related to Climate Change for the enlightenment of our MPs.  Here are a few extracts from the booklet, provided to us by an anonymous and possibly non-existent source in the L.S. Secretariat:

Emissions: Emission (archaic: admission) is the same as confession. If you confess or emit to a crime, it is called ‘emission of guilt’.  It is easy to understand why emissions are bad for your health. Luckily for you, as per Indian law an emission of guilt holds no weight in Court unless the emission is made in presence of a magistrate. Hence, if you are questioned by police, CBI or Enforcement Directorate regarding scams or other crimes,  emit nothing.

Fossil Fuels: Describes the very old and seasoned bureaucrats in ministries such as coal, environment, forests, mining, petroleum & natural gas, etc., who have perfected the science  of working very hard during their tenures to achieve zero outputs while at the same time ensuring zero emissions regarding any acts of omission and/or commission. (Related term: Zero-Effect Zero-Defect)

Conference of Parties (COP):  This is a mechanism under which tax-payers across the world pay the United Nations to organize annual Parties for assorted Fossil Fuels, media-folk and other hangers-on from 193 countries in lovely holiday resorts such as Bratislava and Buenos Aires, Cancun and Cartagena, Nagoya and Nassau. Here, the Party-goers can  argue about why emissions are bad for all of us, which country is emitting more than which, and what should be done about it and by whom. Already, 24 COPs have been held. Each COP usually ends with an Agreement under which all the Party-goers agree on two vital issues: (1) where to hold the next COP; and (2) a resolution never to promise to actually do something about emissions, as this might bring to an end all future COPs (this is also known as Principle of Shared Iniquity).

Coping Strategy/Adaptation: This is the approach adopted by a politician to cope with (or adapt to) a changed, politically adverse climate. If successful, the politician is said to demonstrate ‘Climate Resilience’.

Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC): Set up by UN, the IPCC has been working very hard for over 30 years to try and get over 190 countries to agree on important issues such as whether Climate Change is actually real, and if so, how to measure it and what the measurements tell us or don’t tell us about our past, present and future. So far, IPCC has produced many reports describing its brave efforts to get countries to agree on anything at all related to Climate Change (assuming it is real).

Low/zero carbon economy:  Also called Zero-C, this is a cherished goal of India’s e-governance initiative, to minimize or eliminate the use of carbon paper while making hard copies of government  documents. Zero-C will save paper and precious trees, and also protect politicians, government officials and affiliated Fossil Fuels against media stings and CBI inquiries based on leaked carbon copies of official documents. Note: Zero-C is not to be confused with Zero-X (archaic: Xerox), which is a different but equally harmful leaking mechanism.

Mitigation: This is a legal strategy by which  politicians and other Fossil Fuels can cite mitigating circumstances to dilute charges brought against him/her under CrPC, IPC or even IPCC.

Renewables. These are inexhaustible energy resources for political parties. For example, in India both BJP and Congress promote solar energy, through Sun Salutations and Son Salutations respectively. Also, BJP specializes in forcing citizens to convert to biogas energy through cow protection or Gau Rakshak; while Congress and CPI(M) compete in promoting large-scale wind energy generation through Mani Shankar Aiyar and JNU Student’s Union respectively.

Clean Technology Transfer: A very rarely used term nowadays, it describes ‘clean’ defense deals where no bribes have been paid to politicians or arms dealers while purchasing military equipment/technology from abroad.

Appropriate technology: This describes  modern, anti-pollution technology that is appropriate for Indian needs – such as the N95 anti-pollution masks being bought and distributed by Aam Aadmi Party at Delhi tax-payers’ expense to protect Delhi citizens against air pollution caused largely by the Delhi citizens’ own industries, vehicles and construction activities.  However, if the appropriate technology is obtained by swindling of public money, it is termed ‘Misappropriate Technology’.

Jai Hind.

 

 

Musings, Verse perverse

Dark speculations on RFPs, Log Frames, and other profanities

[Dedicated to all fellow-spinmeisters in the Development World]

 

The more one delves into the Project Cycle

The stronger its leek-like reek; as palatable

As being ensconced in a warm, softly lit room

Sippin’ spiced spirits while gazing out at the chilly gloom

And shedding copious tears for the shivering poor without

E’en while raising crystal glass to quivering snout…

Joyously do we journey through forests of Problem Trees

Skinny-dip in Expertise Pools, as we compute our Consultancy Fees

From Global Conferences to Regional Workshops we flit, by jet

To meet, in every Core Committee and Advisory Group, those we just met

Globetrotting arachnids, spinning a web of silken jargon and hype

In which to ensnare, and feed on, suckers of every type

We’ve fabricated a Cage of Fabrications, a Programmatic Framework

In which we fatten ourselves all the more, on those who understand less

Creativity drowned, in a swamp of glutinous verbosity

Spontaneity lost, in Missions of pompous piety

Where did we start this? Why did we at all?

When did we start this slide? Last Tuesday, or last year’s Fall?

It makes no difference: it doesn’t matter at all

It’s enough for us, great Omar’s words to recall…

What without thinking, hither hurries whence?

And, mindlessly, whither hurries hence?

Oh! Another, another cup to drown

The memory of this impertinence!”

All we need do is keep churning out the gobbledygook

By the petabyte and ppt; throwing in a report or book

Outcomes and Outputs, Short-Term Extensions

Mid-Term Reviews, Course Corrections

Just fabricate those Indicators, by hook or by crook

And if some dare raise questions—cock them a snook!