General ravings, Musings

Jai Backwards! Jai Hind!

Jats in action
Jats fearlessly exposing themselves to injury during agitation

At last, the Jats of Haryana have triumphed in their heroic week-long struggle to be recognized as ‘Backward’. With the Government of India and the Government of Haryana declaring the Jats to be a Backward Community, the Jats have called off their agitation.

We, the people of India, are overjoyed. We congratulate the Jats for joining the swelling ranks of the Backward!

But the Jats have also suffered terribly during their heroic, Nationalistic struggle.

Thousands of young Jat men suffered cuts, bruises and sprains while lifting and dragging heavy stones, concrete blocks and tree-trunks to block all the highways and railway lines in Haryana, Punjab and Delhi, and while assaulting non-Jat passers-by with rocks, sticks and affiliated blunt weapons.

Many Jat men experienced severe dehydration and exhaustion as they wielded sledge-hammers, crowbars and other heavy tools to destroy the pumps, sluice gates, and affiliated equipment and concrete works used to supply water to New Delhi’s 15 million people via the Munak Canal.

Countless Jat men—and even a few Jat women (whose names have been noted by the Jat Khap Panchayats for future reference and action) — suffered lacerations, muscle pulls and back pains  as they broke shop windows and raided malls and supermarkets to loot mobile phones, refrigerators, cars, branded footwear and apparel, perfumes, lingerie, and other essential commodities.

Of particular concern is the fact that at least fifty Jat men are still under treatment for severe ailments such as neck and lower back injuries (from wielding heavy axes and swords), ‘shooter’s finger syndrome’ (from pulling stiff triggers of pistols and country guns) and burns (from setting fire to railway stations, buses, automobiles, shops, houses, truck tyres, and a few non-Jat passers-by).

Alas, the sufferings and sacrifices of the Jats in their heroic, Nationalistic struggle have gone unnoticed by our callous mainstream media, which has only been obsessed with the Anti-National protests of JNU students.

However, We, the Wee People of India, deeply sympathize with the poor Jats for the terrible hardships they faced and the sacrifices they made during their  struggle. We demand that they be compensated for their injuries and losses.

In ringing tones, We, the Wee People of India, assure the Jats that India shall forever recognize and celebrate their  Nationalistic struggle for what is, after all, the fundamental right of every true-blood, caste-ironed Indian – to be recognized by the world as Socially, Economically and Culturally Backward.

What a fine ideal the Jats have set of True Selfless Nationalism; an ideal  for the young Anti-National JNU-wallahs to emulate!

Inspired by the Jats, let  all Indians now unite, Forwards and Backwards, in our relentless hind-ward journey towards Backward Development.

Let our government demand a Reserved Seat for India in the UN Security Council under the Backward Quota.

Jai Backwards!

Jai Hind!