Ancient writings, Musings, Remembering

Choose

This is one of half a dozen short stories I wrote back in mid-1993: soon after I quit my job as a banker of 13 years’ vintage to don the lifelong disguise of writer… …and soon after Bombay, and India, plunged into a bloodfest organized by an unholy alliance of religious and temporal kooks, primarily Muslim and Hindu; a bloodfest that polarized India, lasted nearly 10 years and still erupts from time to time. The stories explored different manifestations of violence; the themes were all largely drawn from reality…and often, as in this case, built around personal experience.

I thought I’d wipe 30 years’ dust off this story and post it now…at a time when we feel pressurized to Choose every second of our lives in every aspect of our lives between This extreme and That extreme in a world that’s become Binary, a time when Russians and Ukrainians are slaughtering one another, when Hamas has achieved spectacular new depths of mass butchery of men, women and children in Israel and Israel is reducing Gaza and the bones of its residents to rubble…

I’d welcome your comments, Gentle Reader, as always.

I could see the highway as I descended the steep lane from my hill-top colony. It was awash with rain water, twin ribbons of glistening, rippling grey-black macadam stretching away in both directions, deserted at this early hour. The narrow mud-and-rubble divider that ran in between was as black as the ominous cloud-layer above. It was cold, and I shivered as the moisture-laden wind from the west tugged at my shawl.It was a good half-a-kilometre down to the 24/7 medical store on the road that led to the railway station. I had a terrible migraine, and needed to buy an inhaler and tablets.

I crossed the little bridge that gave on to the highway and waded across the flooded road till I reached the divider. Stepping on to it, I turned and began to walk along its length, picking my way carefully through the jumble of stones and clumps of rain-drenched grass. Walking along the divider would be slow and slippery, yet far preferable to wading along the verge where the water was deepest. And on the divider, at least I could be confident that no hidden brimming-over potholes waited, open-mouthed and hungry, to swallow me whole.

I saw movement to my left. In the darkness, two—no, three black shapes materialized on the verge and began to cross the road ahead of me. The men must have come up from the sprawling shanty-town that lay to the left, below the highway. I watched as they ascended the divider and walked towards me. One of them, I saw, carried a shapeless black bundle upon his shoulder.

They stopped, all of a sudden, about fifty feet ahead of me, and went into a huddle, heads close together. Something about their manner, some faint, inexplicable sense of uneasiness, made me slow down and come to a standstill. They hadn’t seen me yet. I watched as the tallest figure—the one with the bundle—brought his arms up and swung the bundle off his shoulder. It landed in the mud with a soggy thump.

The three figures stood, motionless, as though waiting for something.

I glanced at my watch. 05:20.

In another ten minutes, the great convoys of Bombay-bound trucks would be released from their shackles at the toll-tax gates a kilometre up the highway to the north, and soon the three lanes to the left would be filled with countless tonnes of hurtling metal and the air would reverberate with the triumphant roar of the trucks as they sped towards the wholesale markets and industrial belts of the great city.

As yet, though, the silence was disturbed only by the bubbling and chuckling of the flooded drains and sewage canals on either side of the highway. A light drizzle began, but I just stood there and watched the three figures as they hulked over the dark bundle at their feet. After a moment, the tall one—obviously the leader—squatted down and began to work at the top of the bundle. Curiosity overcame apprehension; I crept forward till I was barely twenty feet away from them, and now I could clearly see what was happening. The bundle was a jute sack, the kind used to pack grain or sugar in; the tall man was undoing the tight knots that bound the sack’s neck, with what seemed to be extraordinary caution.

He worked away silently, and his companions stood about him, watching his busy fingers as intently as I was. A pale, watery-grey light broke out over the dark hills to the east, just as the tall man undid the final knot and sprang back.

For a few seconds nothing happened. And then…the sack moved. One of the men laughed softly, but was shushed by the tall man. Their eyes were on the sack; if they’d seen me, they showed no signs of it.

Again, the sack moved…as though, deep within its rough, sodden folds, something was wriggling about, struggling to emerge.

A hum reached my ears, and deepened and grew steadily till it pulsed and throbbed in the thick atmosphere. The trucks were on the move, and approaching rapidly.

The three men had apparently been waiting for this; for, each one stepped back a pace and reached into his shawl. Their hands emerged, and now each hand bore a weapon. Strange weapons they were, too. The tall one held a long metal rod with a vicious hook at the end; one of his companions gently, almost lovingly, swung a bicycle chain; and the third man had a chipped cricket bat in his grip. Heart thudding, I watched and waited; not knowing what to expect beyond the conviction that, whatever it was, it was going to be violent.

The hum became a roar, and the first of the trucks passed by an instant later in a welter of noise, tyres hissing in the water and leaving a great filthy brown spray in its wake. It was followed a few seconds later by another, and then another, until the vehicles were thundering past in a continuous stream and the very earth trembled beneath their weight. The spray from the tyres rose ten feet into the air, and added its muddy weight to the drizzle; but I was oblivious to anything but the drama unfolding on the divider.

The tall man stared at the passing trucks for a moment, nodded to his companions as if satisfied, and then kicked the sack viciously. The sack shifted a foot, and from within it emerged shrill shrieks that made my skin crawl and my hair stand on end. It was the sound made by rodents in anger and in pain…

Now, something moved along the neck of the sack: a large lump, moving up slowly, followed by a smaller lump. The small lump suddenly shot forward until it collided with the large one; the neck of the sack twisted and turned, there came a squeal of agony from its interior; and then the larger lump disappeared and only the smaller lump moved, closer and closer to the mouth of the sack where it lay in the mud.

I held my breath as the lump reached the mouth of the sack. I darted a glance at the three men. They stood about the sack, tension in their stiff, motionless limbs, their silhouetted weapons infinitely threatening.

The mouth of the sack widened, and something emerged. At first, only a pair of long, dark whiskers; trembling, sniffing the air for threat and danger. The men stood like rocks while the whiskers twitched for an interminable period…and then, with shocking suddenness, a lithe, grey-black form leaped from the mouth of the sack and bounded straight across the divider—towards the deserted road on the right side.

The three men were faster. Like striking cobras, their arms rose and descended, again and again. One terrible shriek, quickly cut off…and the rat lay, broken and bloody, in the muck.

Even as my mind struggled to make sense out of what I’d just seen, the sack moved again. Horrified, yet fascinated, I watched as another pair of whiskers emerged from the mouth of the sack and tested the air. This time, one of the men expedited things by tapping the sack cloth behind the lump. The rat—it was a larger, rangier specimen than its unfortunate predecessor—shot out and headed straight down the divider. Towards me! I yelled involuntarily and leaped several feet into the air, but it was unnecessary; the bicycle chain cut the rat nearly in two, and for a horrible moment both segments quivered perceptibly in the mud.

Someone hissed. I looked up and saw all three men staring at me. Their faces were completely expressionless, but there was something about the glittering eyes in their dark sockets that sent a thrill of terror down my spine. I felt as though I were an intruder…yes, an intruder…at some dark, secret ritual being practiced there, in the middle of the highway.

This is ridiculous, I told myself. I’m in the suburbs of Mumbai, this is the twentieth century, neither the place nor time to imagine things…

The tall man took a single step towards me, and suddenly the impulse to run seized me. Run, the voice in my mind screamed. This is something you don’t understand, you can’t understand. Get away! Run!

But just then, a frenzied squealing from the sack diverted our attention. Turning my head, I saw no less than three rats fall out of the sack in a writhing lump.

A strange, feral cry rose from the men’s lips, the weapons rose even as the rats scrambled to their feet. Two scuttled to the right, and were butchered before they reached even halfway towards the deserted road. The third, however, headed for the road to the left. Towards the river of trucks, and their churning, grinding wheels.

And now a strange thing happened. The three men paused, weapons poised in mid-strike, and their eyes followed the rat as it crawled painfully towards the edge of the divider. One leg trailed behind it, apparently injured in the scuffles within the sack. The men made no move to hinder its progress.

The rat reached the edge of the divider, hesitated and made as if to turn about and crawl along the divider instead. The tall man reached out and flipped it around with the hooked rod in his hand. The rat staggered, fell over and landed on the road, whiskers twitching nervously as giant wheels passed within inches of its nose.

The tall man prodded it behind the tail…and the rat ran. With what little strength it had left, it ran across the road in an awful three-legged gait.

The three men hunkered down on their heels to watch its progress, and their eyes were wide and glittering, mouths half-open, eager…I couldn’t look, didn’t want to look, and yet I strained my eyes and peered beneath the passing wheels. I couldn’t see anything, but the three men obviously could. A simultaneous cry rose from them, savage triumph in its tone. The tall one raised his face to the sky and chanted aloud, almost as would a priest invoking celestial powers. His words cut through the rain; they were in rich rural dialect, they were weird…and they froze the blood in my veins.

Behold, the beast Chose its path through the Blaze

It Chose the Path of Pain; by its own Choice has been slain

So shall we treat Bearers of Misfortune in coming days

Faced with the Fire of our Wrath they will Choose…and be cut in twain


I felt my knees tremble. I willed myself to move, to leave that terrible scene, but I just couldn’t. The sack was full of frantic movement now, as if its occupants were aware of their doom; as if, somehow, they knew that an awful ritual of Choice awaited them outside the sack.

I stood there and watched while two more rats emerged from the sack, turned right and were promptly beaten to death. A third one emerged, a young one; small and thin, with a piercing high squeak. This one opted for the river of trucks, and was ground into the slush by a speeding sixteen-wheeler. The three men cheered.

But now, the sack did a little flip; and then a huge shape distended the neck of the sack, crept closer to its mouth, and the three men tensed and held their weapons at the ready.

A giant sigh went up from them as a large, grey-whiskered snout appeared at the mouth of the sack. Small, crafty eyes peered this way and that; pointed ears twitched; and then the rodent crawled out onto the mud and sat down on its haunches as if absolutely nothing untoward was going on.

Rajah, I heard one of the men whisper in awe.

Rajah. The King.

I saw what he meant. The Rajah was easily the biggest field-rat I’d ever seen. He must have been all of thirty inches from weathered snout to leathery tail, with a lean, muscular body and a certain look about him, a battle-scarred, war-veteran look. Cats would have had second thoughts about tangling with such an adversary.

The tall man raised his hand and the thin steel rod whistled as it scythed down. The Rajah was faster. He sat there till the very last moment…and then, in one fluid motion, he sprang into the air, slashed at the tall man’s bony ankle with long, yellowed teeth, landed in the mud with a thump and then ran straight for the divider’s edge. To the left, where the endless procession of trucks roared and churned the flooded waters of the road.

The tall man yelled in fury and pain, dropped his weapon and hopped about on one foot, holding his ankle. His companions, after one quick glance at him, turned and followed the Rajah’s progress. I saw the great rodent reach the edge of the divider, and suddenly madness took hold of me. I wanted this rat to cross safely, wanted it so badly that I yelled aloud. I wanted the Rajah to reach the other side and turn around and thumb his hoary nose at these murderers. I yelled encouragement as the Rajah stepped off the divider and scampered across the road. I squatted down on my heels and watched him go.

And how the Rajah went! Like a bullet he raced across the foaming surface; a huge set of wheels swished past, and for a few seconds all I could see was a sea of frothing brown water; but then I spotted him again, already halfway across, snout in air, tail waving about furiously. For a moment it seemed certain that he would be hit by an approaching petrol-tanker. The giant truck bore down upon the Rajah, the scene disappeared in a brown waterfall…and then the Rajah was scampering along on the other side, unscathed. He didn’t turn around to thumb his nose, he just vanished over the verge, but I was too elated to care. Hoarse, near-hysterical cheering reached my ears, and it was a while before I realized, with a start, that it came from my own throat.

I stopped short, then, and looked around at the three men. They stood there, staring back at me, and there was hatred, pure hatred, in their eyes. The tall one hissed something, and all three started to move towards me.

No, this can’t be happening to me, I remember thinking as I squatted there, paralysed by the look in their eyes. But then I saw the steel rod rise, and I leaped to my feet and I ran, dear God how I ran. I ran back towards home, and I kept seeing their faces as I ran, especially their cold, glittering eyes. I reached the point where I had crossed over from the bridge, and now the screaming torrent of trucks lay between the bridge and where I was, but I heard the pounding of feet behind me and I just ran out onto the road, screaming myself, and dodged and twisted and shut my eyes and kept going, and the screeching of brakes filled my ears and I fetched up with a great thump against something hard and waited for oblivion.

I opened my eyes and found myself in the grip of a policeman: a very large, very annoyed policeman. Even now I remember the smell of stale sweat from him, the crumpled uniform, the dark circles under his eyes from tiredness or lack of sleep; he must have been a night shift constable returning home from duty. He stared at me, breathing hard, as I gasped out my tale of violence and terror. From time to time I twisted my neck to peer towards the divider, to see if I could spot my pursuers between the passing trucks. But there was no sign of the men. A new fear grew in me as I babbled my incoherent tale: the policeman wouldn’t believe me; he would think I was stoned on drugs, or drunk, or insane.

At length, he released his iron grip on my shoulders. He stepped back a pace, surveyed me from head to toe, and then spat to one side.

“So these men scared you, did they?” He went on without waiting for a reply. `Ah…well, I understand your fear. What they did must have seemed a little strange to someone like you, an Angrezi-wallah city-dweller…especially someone who doesn’t understand our local culture, doesn’t even belong to our province…”

I gaped at him. “I was terrified,” I mumbled. “They were madmen, the way they killed those rats…they might well have killed me if I hadn’t fled!”

He waved a thick wrist and laughed indulgently. “Now, now, stay calm. Yes, what they did was certainly unusual, quite different from tradition, from the conventional ritual…”

“What! I don’t understand…”

He went on as if I hadn’t spoken. “…But then this is a big city, you see, things cannot be done the same way here as in our villages. And so naturally such things can’t be done in the traditional, proper ways…”

I couldn’t believe my ears. “What do you mean…”

“These men…they made do with what they had,” the policeman went on, his voice a little dreamy, “Back in our villages, we traditionally catch the rats and put them in a pot—a matka—rather than a sack. And we place the matka in a bamboo trap, and light a slow charcoal fire below it.” His eyes shone as he warmed to his theme. “This bamboo trap is just like a maze, you see, there’s only one winding way out of it. The rats have to find this way out – or they’ll burn. At every turn they have to make a choice. A choice! And even the rats that make the right choices, as they go, have to pass through a series of bamboo gates before they can get out. Each gate is delicately balanced, it is a gate of Death. If the rat so much as touches the gate it falls, and its finely sharpened bamboo splints impale…”

But I didn’t wait to hear anymore. I fled for home.

All this was last Tuesday. I haven’t been out since.

My neighbours, my friends and office colleagues, think I’m unwell. That’ll do for now. I can’t tell them the truth, can I? I can’t tell anybody the truth. No-one would believe me; they’d laugh at me, they’d think I’ve gone crazy.

There’s plenty of food and stuff; I have home delivery from the kirana store halfway down the hill, certainly I’m not going to starve to death. But for how long can I shut myself in here? How long can I keep up this pretense, how long can I go on like this?

I can’t sleep; I dare not sleep, the nightmares are so bad now, the migraine like a fire consuming my senses. I need to go see a doctor!

Hell, I’ve got to go to work! I’ve got to ‘phone people.

But to do all that, to do anything, I’ll have to go down to the highway. And I can’t do that.

But I’m not safe here, either.

They saw me flee across the road, they know now that I live here.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow; but sooner or later, when bad luck, when some misfortune strikes them, they’ll think back and they’ll remember the Rajah. The One That Got Away.

And then they’ll remember me.

I, Bearer of their Misfortune. I, their enemy.

And the highway’s where they’ll be waiting for me, with their weapons. Or else, they’ll come for me, here, at home.

Sooner or later, I’ll have to choose. between going out and just cowering here in terror.

Like the rats, I have to choose…

Ancient writings, Musings

Lunar Steps, Stellar Vision

Last evening – 23rd August 2023 – I was on the ISRO website, watching in awe that turned to delight as Chandrayaan-3’s Vikram lander gently settled on the South Pole of the Moon, 386,000 km away from us.

And now, even while I write this, the little robotic Pragyan buggy is wandering about that incredibly bleak and cold plain like a cautious and patient beetle on wheels, setting up and testing its instruments to conduct an array of scientific experiments which will be live-streamed back to ISRO and Earth as lunar dawn breaks over the Pole…a dawn that will almost instantly become daylight of a brilliance that we Earthings cannot imagine, even though the Sun will hover just above the lunar horizon. And this coming lunar day will last 14 Earth days, and raise the temperature of the flatlands around Vikram and Pragyan from (-) 100 degrees C to a broiling (+) 50 degrees C….even while the permanently shadowed regions below tall mountains and in the depths of craters will remain a metal-cracking (-) 200 degrees C.

I read a lot of science fiction in my time. This unfolding reality on the Moon awakens so many memories: of the timeless, often prescient stories of H G Wells, Isaac Asimov, Walter M Miller; ofArthur C Clarke’s ‘A fall of moondust’ and ‘2001: a space odyssey’…

It also brings memories of an op-ed article I wrote just over 20 years ago (Jan 2003), in response to an Indian Express editorial on the mathematician Ramanujan; an editorial that, I felt, exhibited the shallow – almost fashionable – cynicism with which much of Indian media regarded (and, alas, continue to regard) any scientific achievements by Indians. Here it is:

Signs of good science

http://archive.indianexpress.com/oldStory/16583/

The editorial ‘Remember Ramanujan?’ (IE, January 5) observes that there is ‘very little happening in Indian science and technology’. Actually, the women and men who have designed and launched our weather and communication satellites, found new ways to store N-wastes, sequenced the rice genome, developed Bt cabbage and biodiesel… they, and others like them, are doing world-class, original science.

Our own lack of scientific temper makes us reluctant to acknowledge Indian work until its worth is ‘certified’ by some western agency, a perilous tendency in today’s fiercely competitive world. G.H. Hardy, who discovered the genius of Ramanujan, was not the first mathematician to be sent Ramanujan’s manuscripts. As C.P. Snow reveals, there had been two before him, men who ‘do not emerge out of the story with credit.’ Both were English mathematicians, both of the highest professional standards; yet each returned Ramanujan’s manuscripts without comment… and this was in 1913!

Recently, a team of scientists headed by N.C. Wickramasinghe conducted a series of balloon experiments and discovered that viable living cells are falling to Earth from outer space at the rate of a few tonnes per day. The evidence confirms the theory proposed by Fred Hoyle and Chandra Wickramasinghe in 1981 that all life on Earth has sprung from living cells stored for aeons in frozen interstellar gas-clouds, and that these cells constantly travel to Earth via comets on the pressure of solar radiation.

‘‘Genes are to be regarded as cosmic,’’ they wrote. ‘‘They arrive at the Earth as DNA or RNA, either as full-fledged cells, or as viruses, viroids, or simply as separated fragments of genetic material. The genes are ready to function when they arrive… The problem for terrestrial biology is not therefore to originate the genes, but to assemble them into whatever functioning biosystems the environment of the Earth will permit…’’

The implications are staggering. This effectively scotches the idea that life developed from some kind of ‘primordial soup’; Darwinian ‘natural selection’ is reduced to a mere fine-tuning mechanism that develops variety within living species! Among Wickramasinghe’s team were two Indian scientists Jayant V. Narlikar and P. Rajaratnam.

Yet how little attention we have paid to their work; how quickly we have forgotten them.

Indeed, there is need for more funding for R&D, for research institutions to be freed from the stifling, enervating clutches of babudom. But we too must understand that technology spins off from long-term missions; that progress in science, as in sports, comes only from hard work and perseverance; that far more important than applauding success, is consistent support and encouragement in times of failure.

We need to talk and write more about science in mainstream media. And especially, we must shed our habit of greeting every new idea with withering contempt. Not long ago, Dr Kalam’s idea of a Moon mission was met with widespread opposition, even derision. Yet today, we bemoan the fact that China has stolen ahead in the race by launching its first space launch vehicle.

[P.S.: Isn’t it wonderful how India has not just caught up but forged ahead in this race…hats and topis off to ISRO and the multitude of organizations and industries and academic institutes and individuals, young and old, that have striven through these decades to make Chandrayaan-3 and other space missions reality…more power to them, in the space laps that lie ahead! ]

General ravings, Potshots

Lok Sabha elections 2024: why I’ll vote for I.N.D.I.A

O Gentle and Most Valued Reader, I begin this rant with an Affidavit in the standard UNESCO-disavowed format.  .

Affidavit
I, R P Subramanian, do solemnly swear, affirm and declare in this public forum as follows:
1. That I am a registered Indian voter.
2. That in the forthcoming Lok Sabha elections 2024, I shall cast my vote in favour of the Indian National Developmental Inclusive Alliance (hereinafter called ‘I.N.D.I.A’ which expression shall include all its splinter groups, breakaway factions, turncoats, defectors, defecators, and assigns).
3. That I undertake to cast my vote favouring I.N.D.I.A as declared above, barring unexpected and/or unforeseen events that might prevent me from doing so including and not restricted to death; grievous injuries caused by assault(s) by supporters of any and all political parties; Acts of God (which term includes Acts by any and all Religious, Secular, Communal, Communist, Woke, and Somnolent deities and prophets of all sexes and genders present and future); and any and all other force majeure events and phenomena.
4. That I execute this undertaking in full and complete infirmity and unsoundness of mind and senses, and under no compulsion or threats whatsoever from any entities, real or virtual.  

The provocation for my Affidavit is the recently concluded Lok Sabha debate on the No-Confidence Motion moved by the I.N.D.I.A coalition of Opposition parties against the BJP-led NDA coalition; a three-day debate that ended with the entire I.N.D.I.A coalition walking out of the House even before the No-Confidence Motion that they had themselves brought in could be put to vote.

Please don’t get me wrong: I don’t blame the Congress-led I.N.D.I.A coalition for walking out of the Lok Sabha. They did so only to escape further serious injuries to their already-bruised egos.

By the second day of the debate, the signs were clear to me—as clear as Rahul Gandhi’s development agenda for India— that the MPs from I.N.D.I.A were vying with one another in making supreme idiots of themselves as they spoke in the House. Indeed, only sheer will-power and extra-strong coffee gave me strength to hear and watch Rahul Gandhi himself prate about nothing in particular with his characteristic hoarse vehemence, oratorial incoherence, analytical incompetence and overarching adolescence—even as his colleagues cheered him on and thumped their desks—before exiting with an aerial smooch seemingly directed towards a cluster of women MPs in the Treasury benches (although a usually unreliable Congress source tells me Rahul’s smooch was actually aimed at PM Narendra Modi, for whom Rahul possesses deep affection and love).

But most painful of all was to hear and watch MPs of the BJP and other NDA parties, from Jyotiraditya Scindia to Modi himself, systematically tear apart and gobble down the MPs and constituent parties of  I.N.D.I.A with all the gentleness and grace of a pack of hungry wild dogs dining on a felled buffalo.

After watching this farce of a debate, O Dear Reader, I confess that I was wrong in my earlier prediction that the BJP will be wiped out in the 2024 elections. I now realize that it is the Congress-led I.N.D.I.A coalition that is in danger of being wiped out in 2024.

Because, judging by its disgraceful performance in the Lok Sabha these past three days, I.N.D.I.A has placed itself on the electoral equivalent of life support within weeks of its launch.

No amount of hagiographic reportage by Congress’ captive, Rahul-captivated media can conceal the harsh truth: that I.N.D.I.A was taken to the dhobi-ghats, beaten, wrung, and hung up to dry by the BJP-led NDA in the Lok Sabha.

Adding to my alarm at this latest evidence of I.N.D.I.A’s feebleness and the BJP-led NDA’s ever-increasing strength and popularity, is news from abroad that a leading American singer, Mary Millben, has now expressed her support for Modi.

Source: India Today.

I am slightly consoled by my Congress source’s assurance that Mary Millben’s support for Modi  doesn’t mean anything.  “Arre Subramanian-saar,” he says, “this Mary Millben is not even an American; she is actually an Indian Modi-bhakt living in the USA under false pretences, with some hidden agenda to create Akhand Bharat! She is a Gujarati girl; her real name is Meera Millie-ben…”

Yet I still worry.

India needs a credible Opposition.

India needs a credible alternative to Modi in 2024!

I.N.D.I.A needs my support to get off  its life support!  

And so, I shall vote for I.N.D.I.A in 2024…provided I.N.D.I.A still exists when the elections happen.

May I conclude with an inspirational slogan, which I hope Rahul Gandhi will adopt during his campaigns:

Voters of India, unite ‘neath the banner of I.N.D.I.A

You’ve nothing to lose but your brains, which we’ll replace with Pyaar!

Jai Hind.

 

Musings, Potshots

Sex, Bhagavad Gita, Oppenheimer…

[circa 16:15, 25th July] In a few hours I hope to be sitting at a movie theatre watching Christopher Nolan’s film ‘Oppenheimer’.

I’m writing this about a ‘sex scene’ in the film – and larger issues – even before watching the film. It’s a risky endeavour that I willingly undertake in the interests of underlining the invincibility of the Bhagavad Gita – a book that I enjoy reading over and over again, as did Robert Oppenheimer, as did and still do a host of  many other utterly rational, utterly atheistic men and women of science, Indian and non-Indian, Hindu and non-Hindu, since the Gita was composed.

I write this because a big hullabaloo has broken out in main-scream, social and anti-social media that this ‘sex scene’ disrespects ‘Hindus’ and ‘Hinduism’.

I write this because (1) I believe the hullabaloo is absurd and pointless, born of ignorance and compounded by narrow-mindedness; and (2) the hullabaloo is being amplified to kiloton levels by our Minister of State for Information & Broadcasting Anurag Thakur, who is reportedly accusing Nolan et al of ‘religious insensitivity’ and insulting the ‘Holy Book of Hindus’ because a scene in the film depicts a woman quoting the Gita while enjoying sex with Oppenheimer. (Oh, and half-a-cheer to you, Minister, for being a spoiler among other things).

Most alarmingly, Minister Thakur is threatening the Film & Censor Board of strict action unless they edit out the ‘controversial ‘ sex scene that has ‘hurt’ those ‘Hindus’ that he claims to represent.

I write this because the Minister has, by his comments and stance, deeply offended MY individual sentiments as a ‘Hindu’ who loves this universal philosophy that is ‘Hinduism’ and is captured so well in the Bhagavad Gita.

I do believe the Minister has got his argument wrong, utterly wrong. Out of ignorance—which is not a crime but a tragedy—but quite possibly, compounded by a sub-critical mass of narrow-mindedness.

I would urge the Minister to reflect on the truth that among all the great philosophies of the world, there is no other philosophy that celebrates the joys of sex more than this vast, insanely yet joyously complex collection of thoughts, writings, poetry, art, sculpture, dance and what-have-you that shelter under this nebulous, ever-changing (and therefore ALIVE) Umbrella Philosophy that we loosely call ‘Hinduism’… and which he so bravely sets out to defend.

What is sex, at its supreme level of enjoyment, but a meeting, a merging, an utter and true union, not merely of physical bodies but of minds and of  hearts powered by desires melting into one another and becoming infinitely greater than the parts, when pleasure becomes ecstasy, a union of seemingly separate Selves that, now united, blend as ‘One’, and in that indescribable timeless eternal moment of infinite bonded bliss, awaken, together, to the realization that this ‘One’ that they have become is the same, was never separated, from the One  whence springs all ‘creation’, all ‘reality’, all ‘life’, all ‘thought’, all ‘Self’…that in truth Time itself is an illusion, as is this cycle of Birth and Death?

Sex is natural. Sex brings great pleasure at its most physical ‘base’ level; sex between partners who adore, respect, love one another, can be an experience that is akin – nay, IS – as supremely ecstatic as the union of the Self with the Cosmic Self. 

There are many paths to experience this oneness. Sex CAN be one, as the great explorers of Tantra know. As lovers know.

What, then, is there to be ashamed of in sex, Mr Minister? What wrong, what ‘evil’, can there be in reflecting upon the One and Its attributes – so brilliantly described in the Vishwarupa of the Gita – while deep in sex?  Can you, should you, even try and hide sexual desire, sexual enjoyment, ecstasy, from ‘God’?

I ask this of the Minister without the slightest intent of disrespect or frivolity: Is it any surprise, is it any wonder that lovers, in their moments of sexual bliss, commonly cry out “Oh my God” and other terms of endearment involving deity – in every human language known, or in words unknown yet too well understood?  Surely the Minister and the flock he claims to represent must know this, and therefore should not, must not, be shocked or offended by this ?

All this and much more, about sex, ‘Hinduism’ understands. All this, the great sages have taught us and counselled us.

Hindusism does not associate sex with shame, guilt, furtiveness, ‘sin’, the way many other philosophies – that we call ‘religions’ – do.

That is why I love Hinduism—as do so many hundreds of millions, whether they are labelled ‘Hindu’ or anything else.

As one exactly twenty years older than Minister Thakur, I would urge him with all respect and affection to learn more about the meaning and the role of sex in Life as taught and portrayed in Hindu philosophy—perhaps with guidance from great teachers, perhaps in satsang. He could read about Krishna’s life and the layers of meaning that wait to be uncovered by the explorer in Krishna’s sexual frolicking with the Gopikas— Kamala Subramanian’s translation of the Srimad Bhagavatam is an absolutely brilliant introduction. He could explore the passionate writings of Kalidasa, Vatsyayana, a hundred others, in so many languages…he could read Pawan Varma’s superb book ‘The Great Hindu Civilization—achievement, neglect, bias, and the way forward’ to clarify questions and doubts he might have on Hinduism in a larger framework. [I will be happy to loan the Minister my copies of these – and other – books in case the Minister has difficulty in procuring them.]

Surely the Minister will understand, then, that neither ‘Hinduism’ nor the Bhagavad Gita needs ‘protection’ nor any ‘Defenders of the Faith’! Because the One, according to Hinduism, IS everywhere, the One is in the neutron and proton and electron, in all matter and energy, in the orgasm and in the organism, in the ever-changing lattices of electron exchanges that we call ‘thought’ and ‘idea’ and ‘memory’, the One is beyond Life and Death and Thought itself. To quote the Gita:

nainam chhindanti shastraani nainam dahati paavakah
na chainam kledayantyaapo na shoshayati maarutah

Weapons cannot cut It, nor can fire burn It; water cannot wet It, nor can wind dry It.

[I thank http://www.esamskriti.com for this nice, blithely ‘borrowed’ verse]

Last, I would urge the Minister not to allow ignorant, narrow-minded followers wearing ‘Hinduism’ T-shirts to coerce him into taking actions that might, in today’s social-media-driven society, reduce this wonderful, all-embracing, eternal philosophy that we call Hinduism into just another blind, soulless, ritualistic ‘religion’. To diminish this wonderful, all-embracing way of living and reflecting so that it becomes a travesty, to be obeyed without question by terrorized, brain-numbed, trembling, ‘God-fearing’ followers; a travesty presided over by heartless, cruel, greedy, moralistic, paternalistic and patronizing Interpreters, Lawmakers and Priests who rule by Fear, who see only sin in joy, shame in nature, crime in innocence.

And a last thought: I urge the Chairperson of CBFC Prasoon Joshi – a man of deep wisdom – and his colleagues to stand firm against any attempts by anybody  to censor this film – that I now rush off to see.

[26th July, 10:41. And now, 18 hours later, O dear Reader, having seen and delighted in this powerful film including the much-maligned ‘sex scene’, I urge Minister Thakur and his indignant followers to go and see the film. And, with my solemn declaration that I stand by every word I have written above, I post this herewith.]

Jai Hind.

Ancient writings, Beastly encounters, Potshots

His last bough

[or, Why We Must Do Proper Environmental Impact Assessments]

[O gentle Reader, I inflict this long, dark, dank and dismal tale upon thee at a time when We the Wee-Wee Pee-Pee People of Inundated India are blaming everyone from Kejriwalbhai and Modibhai to Rahulbeta and Priyankabehn for our flood-related woes…blaming everyone but the real culprits, namely, all of us City-wallahs. You and I. Humlog. Aami.

We are all to blame collectively, and must bear responsibility to differing degrees individually: “not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially,” as Jawaharlal Nehru quoth in a slightly different yet relevant context.

I wrote this story 30 years ago – in 1993. A mangled form was published, in two parts, by The Daily Pioneer in 2002. That fine newspaper added insult to editorial injury by mangling my byline so that my full name Subramanian became Subramonium in Part 1, and then Subramanium in Part 2 (doubtless had there been a Part 3 I would have become Plutonium); and by way of final abuse they paid me the princely sum of zero rupees for my contribution.

I dedicate this slightly revised version to the journalists of The Daily Pioneer…assuming it still exists…and to all my friends, colleagues and other co-swimmers in the Ocean of the Enviro-Socio-Economic Development World.

Warning: do NOT expect political correctness here!

His last bough

He lay on the bough and screamed, but there was no one to hear him.

He was stretched out on his belly, his bare feet lodged in the fork of the trunk behind him. With every gust of wind the branches over his head whipped to and fro, and a hundred sharp twigs scraped painfully against his back and legs, scratching his skin through the sodden kurta-pajamas he wore. The branch upon which he lay was almost horizontal—that is, when it was not being tossed up and down by the demented gale—and as thick as his thigh where his arms encircled its slippery grey bark. Subsidiary branches sprung from it at regular intervals, each in turn dividing into scores of limbs festooned with broad, leathery, pendulous  leaves that hung all about him. Ahead of him the bough tapered off to end, about three metres away, in a tangle of vines and leaves.

All around him stretched the floodwaters: a vast, turbulent plain, disappearing in a haze of moisture that obscured the horizon on every side. Trees stood out of the surface everywhere, silhouetted blackly against the leaden backdrop. Many of them were bent at crazy angles, limbs trailing in the waters; others were so deeply immersed that only their crowns were visible. Thousands of nameless objects moved across the liquid plain; some bobbing up and down or drifting about sluggishly in small circles, others tumbling and crashing through the foaming white rapids that ran about a hundred metres to his right, and still others that coursed through the waters beyond the line of rapids, moving swiftly and purposefully as though borne by powerful, hidden currents.

The swirling brown waters chuckled and slapped at the tree-trunk below, the wind and the rain tore through the canopy of dripping leaves that surrounded him. He lay there and screamed, but his shrill cry was snatched away by the wind and lost in the tumultuous roar that filled the landscape.

Hours had passed since daybreak, but brought little change to the unreal grey light which enveloped the world. Now he raised his head slightly and peered, for the tenth time, at his wristwatch.

4:14, his watch said. His beautiful, 22-carat, waterproof, scratchproof, shock-resistant watch; its dial so pitted, its interior so foggy that the motionless hands were all but invisible.

4:14 was when the dam must have burst.

It had all happened so suddenly. The rain had begun late yesterday morning, and continued through the afternoon into the night. He’d been with Bose and the others inside the inspection tunnel till about eleven, when he’d left them and returned to his little prefab cottage on the hillside overlooking the barrage. But sleep had been impossible, the rain had sounded like ten thousand iron fists beating a frenzied tattoo upon the C.I sheet roof, and it had kept him tossing and turning in his cot till eventually he’d risen, switched on the light and decided to brew himself some tea. While waiting for the water to boil he’d listened to the rain, and to the shrieking wind, and he’d thought to himself: three days, just three more days, and then he could finalize his audit report on the dam (“built to last a thousand years!” Bose had proclaimed last month, damn him!), and then he could get Bose to sign off on the report and pack his bags and get the hell out of this accursed province and return to his beloved city with its lights and its warm nights and his friends and duplex flat and music and movies and car…

And suddenly, the light had gone out. Cursing, he’d stepped to the door, opened it and peered out. Instantly, he’d known something was wrong…for, where the dam’s causeway lights ought to have been blazing, there was only pitch-black darkness. And then the earth had trembled beneath his feet and he’d heard the roar, dear God he could still hear that roar, the triumphant thundering of one hundred and ninety three million cubic metres of water breaking their puny concrete shackles…there’d been no time to run, no time to do anything, he’d just stood there, frozen in horror, listening to that roar.

And suddenly the ground had fallen away beneath his feet and he was under what felt like a million tonnes of ice-cold sub-Himalayan waters; and then he was flying or falling or rolling or tumbling along at an unbelievable speed, and his spectacles were snatched off his nose by a giant hand, and he’d tried to gather his limbs about him but was unable to find them, unable to tell up from down, and his lungs and stomach filled up with water till he was sure he would burst, and even in that madness he remembered thinking, this was what it was like to die. Again and again he’d gone down under; and once when he surfaced briefly he’d had a split-second terrifying vision of jagged, rocky walls streaking past inches from his nose; and a million wasps had stung him repeatedly all over his body and he’d tried to scream but only swallowed more water, and time had stood still for a while thereafter, he could remember only inky darkness, enormous fluid pressure, the burning in his lungs…

And then his buttocks had smashed against something hard, spinning him round and round beneath the waters. He’d felt tentacles brush his body, grabbed despairingly at them and held on to one while the stupendous current dragged his body sideways. He’d dug his fingers into the pliant cord and pulled himself along its length till, all at once, his head emerged from the raging tide. He’d fought his way along the vine towards its parent tree-trunk till finally he reached it, and wrapped his arms around its rough wet bark and drawn breath after shuddering breath into his tortured lungs while his sodden clothes threatened to drag him back into the waters again.

At length, he’d clawed his way up the tree. Inch by inch he’d climbed, while the rain lashed his face and the wind rocked the trunk about, seeing and feeling and hearing nothing, mind filled only with the terrors of the waters beneath. He’d reached the fork of the trunk, collapsed onto the bough, wrapped his arms around it and regurgitated what had felt like a thousand litres of muddy, foul-tasting water before lapsing into unconsciousness.

He’d come to, in the nightmare darkness. With returning awareness had come the tremors of reaction, and for a long time he had lain there, shuddering from head to toe while the fractured memories of his voyage returned to his mind. But at last the trembling had ceased, his teeth stopped chattering, and he was able to consider the miracle of his survival.

Initially, hysteria had taken hold of him; and his shrieks of laughter had rung out in the wild night till a fit of coughing had convulsed his body and nearly thrown him off the bough. A semblance of sanity had returned, then; he’d locked his arms around the branch and willed himself to lie still. He’d muttered fervent thanks to the long-forgotten Gods and Prophets and sundry Angels of his childhood. He’d sworn wild and improbable oaths to them in token of his gratitude for salvation. He would pay them obeisance in a hundred temples, mosques and churches; he would undertake a pilgrimage to the mountains; he would henceforth lead a life of austerity.

He’d read about such things happening, of course. About men being swept away by flash floods and deposited, unharmed, kilometers away from where they’d been. About tsunamis lifting ships over entire islands and down onto the surface of the ocean on the other side without injuring a soul on board. He’d read of many such occurrences, read them and dismissed them as packs of lies! But now it had happened to him, here he was, alive! He was alive!

After a while, he’d tested his limbs, one by one, for possible breakages. He’d found none—although he appeared to have lost several of his fingernails. His skin, however, was a different matter…every square inch of it burned as though on fire. He recalled the stinging pains during his voyage, and with a shudder realized what they must have been due to…a million fragments of stone and sand and concrete and God knew what else, pulverized by the waters and hurled against his rushing body till he was a mass of tiny cuts from head to foot.

His ears were filled with the roar of the tides beneath the bough; over the howling wind came the most alarming creaks and groans from the branches surrounding him; the rain poured down upon him, the rough bark dug painfully into his ribs and stomach.

But he was alive. He was alive! Surely that was all that mattered…surely daybreak would bring hope, and rescue.

But dawn had come, and in its pale, watery light he had beheld his surroundings… and now, many hours later, the bleak and unchanged horror of the landscape had driven hope, and much of his sanity, from his mind.

He had no idea where he was. Shortly after daybreak the curtains of mist had thinned momentarily, and he’d caught a brief glimpse of pale blue hill-slopes in the indeterminate distance before a fresh torrent of rain had erased the view. All that he’d gathered from that view, however, was that he was utterly lost. Having never journeyed downstream below the Command Village—and they’d always driven down to the Command Village—he had absolutely no idea about the lands further downstream. He’d had no reason to, after all…he’d come here merely to compile an interim Safety-cum-Environmental Impact Assessment Report on the hydel project, with the status of an `independent consultant’. It had suited everybody; for, that way, he didn’t get in the way of the project engineers and technicians who were in the process of commissioning the power plant. Besides, the international donor agency which had funded a very large chunk of the project  had made it very clear to him that his Report was to be `positive’ in tone and content. His Report, they’d stressed, was in fact a mere formality…nevertheless, an essential one. It would of course require his spending at least three months on-site, `for the record’. By way of compensation for his hard work and hardships, the donor agency had paid him an extremely fat advance on his fees, in addition to a suitable per diem allowance which he could claim upon his return…

It had all seemed too good to be true.

And, he thought bitterly, so it had turned out to be.

Oh, to be sure he’d had no problems getting the information he needed for his Report: Bose had been only too cooperative on that score. Bose had provided him full access to all project documentation since the first proposal had been put up by the power utility to the state government. He had devoted the first two months to the safety aspects of the dam; a task which had consisted, principally, of taking copious notes from the reports already filed by the engineers of the Electricity Board and independent technical consultancies, and rehashing them with liberal use of copy-and-paste into a form suitable for his own Report.

Bose had caught on mighty fast, of course, the cynical bastard. `You could’ve done all this at home!’ he’d said, with that slightly contemptuous look on his weather-beaten face. Much as he hated to admit it, Bose was right. But all the same, Bose had allowed him access to anything he wanted down at the Command Village Office; and it was Bose who had suggested a visit to one of the Tribal Resettlement Villages…`to enable you to make an on-the-spot assessment of the dam’s impact on the local populace…’ he’d said with a sardonic chuckle.

He would never forget that visit. They’d driven up a dirt road along the western shore of the vast reservoir till the road petered out next to a swift stream. They’d left the jeep there and trudged along a path through thick vegetation till, after about half-a-kilometer, they’d come upon a little clearing in the forest. About twenty huts stood in a rough circle in the clearing; wooden-roofed structures with crude plank walls, identical in all respects. To the right, narrow wooden canoes lay beached upon the banks of the stream. It  was Resettlement Village number 4A; one of 45 such villages built by the Project Authorities for the indigenous people, the tribals, who had been displaced by the project and whose ancestral villages were already deep beneath the reservoir waters.

The tribals had emerged from their huts, every one of them. Dark-brown men with fuzzy hair and high cheekbones, the men clad in loincloths, the women in rough skirts and strips of cloth that barely concealed their breasts, the naked children with their solemn, wide-open eyes…they’d stood around and stared at him, their faces totally devoid of expression even when he’d attempted a shaky smile.

It had been a relief when Bose finally emerged from one of the huts with an ancient man wearing a wide-brimmed straw hat. He was the Headman, Bose explained. The Headman would answer all his questions, and he, Bose, would do the translating.

His hands tightened about the bough as he thought back to that interview. It had unnerved him, the whole experience had had a quality of hidden menace normally associated with nightmare. The warm humid air, the reek of damp vegetation and rotting fish; the towering trees all about the clearing, the silent, statue-like brown figures all around him, watching him through impassive eyes; no noise but that of the forest birds, and the constant drip-drip-drip of the morning’s rain from a billion leaves…and the wizened face of the Headman, shadowy beneath the straw hat, as he replied to Bose’s translated queries in a cracked whisper.

He’d asked the Headman: Are you content with your new homes?

And the old man had replied: Nothing has changed.

He’d tried again: Are your people happy with their new location?

The old man had repeated: Nothing has changed.

Feeling more and more unreal, he’d persisted: Was he, were his people, aware of the great changes for the better that would come with the setting up of the Project?

All things would pass away.

But they, the tribals, could look forward to the coming of industry, roads, to employment opportunities and prosperity?

All things would pass away.

But the children would soon have a school to go to, down at the Command Village?

Nothing would change.

Did they not want education, then?

The children would learn to hunt and fish. As their parents did.

Were the tribals resentful that their ancient village, and much of their forest lands, now lay beneath the lake waters?

All things would pass away.

Were they unhappy with the dam?

(Silence.)

Were they unhappy with the dam?

And then the old man had turned away from him, whispered something to Bose, looked back at him again and then limped back towards his hut. Silently, the other villagers had disappeared into their doorways till only he and Bose were left standing there in the open. Bose had roared with laughter upon seeing the expression on his face, and at length they had returned to the jeep.

On the way back, Bose had told him a little more about the tribals. He’d realized, with something of a shock, that Bose actually harboured affectionate feelings towards them,  and felt more than a little sympathy with their lot. The tribals were a small community,  Bose had told him; an ancient people in an ancient land. There were barely two thousand of them distributed sparsely in tiny villages all over the mountainous province. A peaceful enough folk, they lived off the land…jungle-fowl and fish, with maybe the occasional wild boar or antelope. Once in a while they journeyed down to the Town, eighty-seven kilometers away, where they bartered wild honey, snakeskins and bamboo-ware for sugar and coarse rice grain.

And what, he had asked Bose, had the Headman said to Bose before he turned away?

Bose had chuckled and told him.

The old man had said: Tell your foolish friend that the White Water is untameable.

He shivered, now, as he thought back to that remark.

The Headman had been right. The White Water had, indeed, proved to be untameable.

Undoubtedly, Bose and the others were dead. They’d have been in their quarters lower down in the gorge, or worse, in the inspection tunnel deep within the bowels of the dam, when it had disintegrated. He remembered the dank, narrow passage of the inspection tunnel, imagined the concrete cracking and fissuring, steel plates buckling as walls of water plunged through, crushing everything in their path…his mind strove to dispel the vision.

But now a sudden, electrifying thought struck him. He might well be the only surviving witness to the collapse of the dam! None of the power plant engineers would have seen it happen; except, maybe, the two security guards on the causeway—who would have been the first to go. Yes, he must be the sole witness. And that would mean, for sure, a lot of fame. And a lot of money as well, if he played his cards right…

All provided, of course, that he was rescued before he died of thirst or starved to death on the tree.

He stared down at the murky swirl beneath the bough, and then thrust aside the leaves to his right and peered out. The rain poured down upon the seething floodwaters with unabated fury, and the hill-slopes he’d seen earlier were invisible. A sudden gust of wind rocked the bough violently, and he hastily dropped his hand and wrapped his arms round the rough wood once more. Despair welled in him, and in its aftermath rose hatred, the hatred he’d felt all along for this accursed land. With its intolerable humidity and its devastating monsoon; its blood-thirsty leeches, its diabolic mosquitoes, its hideous running-spiders…and the tribals! With their wooden faces and guttural tongue and supreme indifference to all things outside their own world…the hatred bubbled over till he was screaming at the top of his voice, ranting and railing against the land and its creatures.

The elements bore down upon him with renewed strength, and the indifferent waters eddied and foamed about the tree-trunk below.

At length he stopped screaming and lay there, breathing heavily, with his eyes shut. A vision of the old Headman swam up, unbidden, in his mind, and he moaned and shook his head violently. After that one trip, he’d refused Bose’s offers to visit other Resettlement Villages. He’d taken careful notes, of course, of their names and locations. And he’d fabricated brief but informative accounts of his visits to them, including several interviews with their inhabitants. Just last week he’d drafted out the conclusion to his report on the tribals. They were, he had recorded, very happy with their relocation. And they eagerly looked forward to being associated with the great socio-economic development of the region, consequent to the building of the Hydel Project.

After all, he’d reflected, it was a mere formality. Just as the donor agency people had assured him. The dam was a fait accompli. The province was so remote, so wild as to have attracted little or no attention from either the media or the environmental activists. The tribals were so few in number that they didn’t even merit consideration as a vote bank. The state needed power; the donor agency needed to invest its money; everyone was happy.

Or should have been happy, but for the dam burst.

The cramp which had set in on his legs before dawn, had progressed till it was now a white fire, consuming the muscles of his back and neck and spreading down his arms. So far he’d dared not shift to a more comfortable position—the bough was slippery, the waters a good three metres below him. But now he decided to wriggle backwards towards the fork of the tree, so that he might sit back against the trunk and stretch his legs out in front of him, along the bough.

He drew a deep breath, tensed the muscles of his back…and heard a loud splash below him. Startled, he peered myopically at the muddy swirl beneath and saw it an instant later: a great wedge-shaped head arrowing through the waters, faint black coils undulating in its wake just beneath the surface, seeming to go on forever…it disappeared from view beyond the fringe of the surrounding foliage, leaving him trembling from head to toe.

Snake.

And that splash could only mean…his eyes darted about fearfully, examining the leafy boughs above his head and on either side; he was just beginning to relax, convinced that no sinuous terrors lurked in his vicinity, when he saw it.

It was literally in front of his nose, about a metre away from his goggling eyes. A greenish-brown, glistening twist, wrapped about its own coils in a little hollow where a slender branch extended sideways from the bough, blending perfectly with the twisted vines and dark green leaves that surrounded it, its flat head resting upon its coils, a fuzzy white patch barely visible on its neck…

A cobra.

Dear God, a monocled cobra, he knew that was what it was because a couple of weeks ago they’d killed one near Bose’s cottage, he remembered the white patch on its hood, how it had reared its frightful head and lashed out at the sticks with which they’d beaten it to death.

Don’t move, he told himself frantically. DON’T MOVE.

He stared at the snake, fought to control his shaking limbs. It must have been there all along, he thought incoherently. Sought refuge from the floodwaters, just as he had. Lain there while he’d shouted and screamed and laughed, it was a miracle it hadn’t been disturbed by his ravings…unless it was deaf. Yes! Snakes were deaf, weren’t they? He vaguely recalled a reference in some book or the other to a Deaf Adder…

But what about vibrations? Surely snakes were sensitive to vibrations! That meant he had to remain still, perfectly still, even if every muscle in his body was knotted with cramp, ached for relief…

Reason fled his mind for a while. A fit of shuddering overcame him, and he lay there babbling and shrieking with laughter while the storm raged about him. Hr didn’t stop even when the snake’s head rose suddenly from its coils and its yellow-white tongue darted in and out of its mouth while its tiny, stone-grey eyes stared into his own. But after a while the tongue ceased to flicker, the flat head sank back upon the gleaming coils and remained there, though the eyes continued to watch him.

Sanity returned like a freezing wave of water. He lay there gulping for breath, unable to believe his eyes. He counted slowly up to two hundred, but not a flicker of movement was there on the part of the snake. It must be sleeping, he decided, and a giggle escaped his lips. Sleep, Old Man Snake, he thought. You and I are in the same boat. Or rather, on the same bough. He giggled again but the cobra didn’t move, not even when the giggle became a cackle and then a whooping roar of laughter.

At length he subsided into silence, chest heaving, his entire frame shivering in the cold wind and rain. He parted the leaves on either side and beheld the slate-grey sky and the wild waters beneath. The wind howled, the raindrops felt like needles being plunged into his flesh. He dropped his hands back onto the bough and pressed his head against the slimy grey bark, listening to the endless drumming of the raindrops on the broad oval leaves that surrounded him. From time to time he raised his head and cried out; but only the wind and the roaring waters answered his calls.

In a moment of reason, an idea struck him. He peered over the bough till he could see the base of the tree-trunk, where the waters lapped at the iron grey bark. There was a white streak on the trunk, just above the water line, where the bark had been peeled off. All he had to do, he reasoned, was watch that mark and see if the water level fell away from it. He would then know, for sure, whether the floodwaters were receding or not.

He stared at the white mark for a long time, but it was no use. Each time he decided that the water level had indeed fallen off, a fresh wave of water came along and slapped against the trunk, obscuring the mark entirely. For all he knew, the floodwaters might actually be rising. A great rockfall might have occurred in some gorge downstream, forming a natural barrier that blocked the White Water far more effectively than Bose’s glorious dam…his heart sank at the thought.

The hours drew by with no visible sign of their passage. The mad fits that overcame him grew more and more frequent. He recited childhood poems in a shrill falsetto. He sang lullabies to the snake. Sudden, terrible paroxysms of rage seized him, and he showered curses upon the land, its populace and its snakes till sheer exhaustion stilled his voice. But the snake didn’t move a muscle, the deluge from the skies didn’t cease, and the savage roar from the flooded landscape only seemed to grow louder as time passed.

A wild notion struck him. For all he knew, the bough upon which he lay belonged to a very tall tree; one with most of its length submerged in the floodwaters. And so even if the waters receded, he might well find himself trapped upon on of the tree’s uppermost branches, tens of metres above the ground…he went into convulsions of laughter at the thought.

But as the day wore on and the grey light deepened, his manic fits grew less and less frequent till, eventually, they ceased altogether. Slowly but surely, a dreadful idea had taken root in his mind, and grown and grown till he was paralysed by the sheer terror of it.

He was sole witness to the Final Flood, harbinger of Dissolution. Pralayam.

A cry carried across the waters to his left. Ethereal, like the cry of a mountain shepherd.

He did not move.

The cry came again; and this time he stiffened and raised his head slightly. With an effort he parted the dripping foliage to gaze out at the watery expanse; but all he could see were petrified trees, and countless dark shapes floating in between them.

 A bird, he thought dully. But just then came the noise of thumping, hollow and flat, as of wood against wood.

And the snake moved.

With incredible swiftness the flat hood rose; and now he saw for the first time the spear-tip head surmounted by a great hood, with its yellow-white O-shaped pattern like an eye in a mask of death. The snake swayed from side to side, the forked yellow-white tongue flicked in and out of its slash of a mouth, tasting the air; and he moaned in his terror, convinced that his end had come, that after all he’d gone through his end had come…

But the cobra, he soon realized, wasn’t interested in him at all. Its head was turned to the left, from where even now the hollow thumping noise carried again over the waters. And immediately upon the noise came the eerie cry, sounding much closer now.

A wave of hope flooded his mind. He forgot the snake, forgot his aches and pains, forgot everything in the realization that rescue might, at long last, be on hand. He thrust the leaves aside, peered through the rain, and there it was, barely ten metres away. A long black canoe drifting past, the boatman slouched at one end, a black figure against the deepening twilight, wide-brimmed hat on his head…

He opened his mouth and yelled. His voice was hoarse, weak, but he distinctly saw the boatman jerk his hatted head before a noise like steam escaping from a pressure cooker brought him around to face the snake. His eyes bulged in terror. Old Man Snake was looking towards the boat and hissing, the great hood weaving from side to side upon the whipcord tail, he’d never heard a more frightening sound in his life.

He screamed aloud in his fear, and the cobra abruptly stopped hissing. It turned its sharp head, its cold, flint-like eyes looked straight into his own while the monocled hood above remained perfectly still. And in that timeless moment a strange conviction came upon him. Old Man Snake was telling him something.

Old Man Snake was warning him.

Yes, Old Man Snake was warning him against the boatman out there on the waters…he, the boatman, was the real danger, the real terror

But then the guttural cry rose again from nearby, shattering the spell. The cobra turned away and resumed its hissing and weaving. With trembling fingers he parted the foliage once again and saw that the canoe was barely two metres away, bobbing up and down on the murky waters beneath the bough. The boatman was looking up at him, his right hand resting upon the long paddle across his knees. He couldn’t make out the boatman’s face beneath the hat, but there was no mistaking the gestures he made now, bringing his left hand up and down rapidly.

He wants me to jump, he thought. To jump!

He looked down, and his hands tightened their grip on the bough. He was suddenly afraid, the ominous brown swell seemed so far below…

The boatman cried out yet again, the snake redoubled its frenzied hissing, and he shook off his paralysis. He unlocked his hands, fell off the bough and landed in the waters with a tremendous splash. He thrashed about blindly, thinking of gharials and swimming snakes while cold, slimy fingers clutched at him beneath the waters…and then he felt strong sinewy arms grasp him beneath the shoulders and haul him out of the waters. He clutched the side of the canoe, had a brief glimpse of a wizened face beneath the shadowy hat; and then he was over the wooden side and lying on his back, feeling the canoe’s wooden planking press against his spine and shoulder-blades.

For a while he couldn’t move. He just lay there, eyes closed, feeling the cold rain upon his upturned face and the gentle rocking of the boat beneath him. At first in a trickle, and then in a great rush, relief swept over him, flooding his body and mind, washing away even the tingling pains of returning blood circulation. He shifted his legs and groaned with pleasure, revelling in the new-found freedom to stretch out on his back, to straighten his elbows, to twiddle his toes…he wanted to cry out in joy, sing paeans to the gods who had delivered him from certain death. What an experience he’d had, what an experience…

He opened his eyes at last. Just a metre beyond his feet hunched the boatman: dark-limbed, wiry of build, brown arms glistening with moisture as they wielded the paddle. He glanced to his left and right but found his view blocked by the smoked-wood sides of the canoe. Grunting with effort, he rose upon his elbows and sought the tree upon which he’d lain. He found it almost immediately, about ten metres away to the right. There was no mistaking it; for upon its lowermost branch, and clearly silhouetted against the pewter sky, he saw the erect, hooded shape of the monocle cobra…now silent and still, as though carved of stone.

Goodbye, Old Man Snake, he thought. God, what a story he had, to tell his friends. Why, his story might hit the national headlines! He sank back and closed his eyes again, and he imagined telling his story to an admiring circle of friends while TV reporters filmed him and cameras flashed in his face.

I spent fifteen hours on that narrow branch above the floodwaters, with only a monocled cobra for company,” he’d say. Quietly, in a matter-of-fact way. “And I couldn’t have wished for a better companion.”

And then he’d watch their faces while they cheered. Yes, especially the girls’ faces.

He opened his eyes. The boatman’s hat was lowered; but now it rose and he saw yellow-white teeth flash in the shadows beneath the rim. He smiled back, though his lips were cracked and swollen.

The boatman was a tribal. A stone-age barbarian, like the ones he’d met at that Resettlement Village. Presumably this creature lived in one of the villages scattered about the valley beneath the dam…well, he would find out soon enough.

There was, he thought, no point in trying to communicate with the moron. Neither of them would understand a word of what the other said.

An unpleasant thought struck him. He would almost certainly have to spend the night at this resettlement village, wherever it was. And eat the muck they served as food, and no doubt share his bed with hordes of bedbugs and spiders and other creepy-crawlies. He grimaced at the prospect, and then shrugged it away. He needed some rest, that was certain. And some food, however rotten it might be.

After that…tomorrow, at any cost, he should be able to contact the Command Village, or what was left of it. By tomorrow, surely, the bigwigs would be there. From the state government, the disaster relief people, maybe even the army, the press…he couldn’t wait to see their faces. And as for the donor agency…well, he knew how he could make them fork out a reasonable sum of money. And after doing that he might well go ahead and blame them for the dam collapse anyway, yes…

The rain had eased off to a chill drizzle. He felt the boatman’s eyes upon him, but couldn’t make them out beneath the hat. As he watched, however, the yellow-white teeth flashed again in the shadows, reminding him in a strange way of the snake’s fangs.

Funny, he reflected, how Old Man Snake had looked at him back there, just before he’d slipped off the bough. He frowned at the memory, and then dismissed it from his mind.

He arched his back and wriggled to find a more comfortable position. His neck, which had been resting on a pile of wet sackcloth, came into painful contact with something sharp and hard. He raised his head slightly to look…it was a metal watchstrap, poking out from beneath the sodden hessian.

He rose on his elbow and pushed the sackcloth aside; aware of the boatman’s gaze upon him; aware, too, that the roar of the rapids had steadily grown till now it was almost a thunder…

Beneath the sackcloth lay an untidy pile of objects. His eyes took in half-a-dozen wristwatches, several cheap ballpoint pens, a pair of broken spectacles, soggy wallets, an assortment of shoes…

Realization dawned, but it was too late.

His last thought, before the heavy wooden paddle drove it and everything else from his mind, was tinged with regret.

He wished he’d heeded Old Man Snake’s warning.

Musings, Remembering

Cerebral cords and chords

[or, when Nothing threatens to become Something]

How time flies.

How time stands still.

Afternoon now. The 9th of July 2023. The mind in vacuous vacuum state, that so typically follows days of intense work.

I just did what I usually do…browse through a folder titled ‘Random Space’ in which I place all manner of scrawls on a continuing basis. This browsing activity acts on me like grazing on grass acts on cattle: it relaxes the fevered brain, especially when I delete utter rubbish that I come across (as happens quite frequently). 

Lest you don’t believe me, here’s something I found, written in February…in strangely similar mood. Strangely enough, it too dwells on grass grazed upon long ago…well, a refined form of grass anyway:  

[Verbatim…]

Feb 15th 2023:

Afternoon now.  After desultory work, editing news clippings after two days’ intense design and review of newsletter. What better time than to relapse into reminisce, to sink effortlessly through the decades to the dreamscape that was 1973–77…

Hawkwind plays, now, selected for me by that monstrous yet lovable Spotify algorithm. An album called, simply, Hawkwind. And now on the screen the calibri-11 and arial-9 exactly 17-point spaced mishmash of text melts and rearranges itself at dizzying speed, briefly I see shadowed faces in it, of friends of eons ago, Shankar and Raju, Kalyan and Raghu, Hocky and Sojan and Buddha and Rohan and Bhaiyya and Sen and Ronnie and Geeta and Meera and Shanks and so many others, appearing and dissolving in the cerebral grey-brown smoke that was so characteristic of Asharam’s hash (it came with golden seals on it, Farsi script too, all the way from Afghanistan, like chocolate bars but so much headier…12 rupees a tola.

A time when my monthly allowance—meant among other things for mess fees of 200-something rupees and for survival on the rest – was 300 rupees; at a time when dad’s salary back in Shillong was – what? About Rs 900 take-home?

Ah yes, I went through that 300 as smoothly as an otter through water, as Asharam’s hash went down the throat and lungs into the blood and brain. At least twice I ‘forgot’ the mess fees and asked dad for more; what were my excuses, I remember not.

And now, the lyrics from ‘Mirror of illusion’ caress the mind, draw me down, down the Great Chasm of Contemplation and hurl me over the raging, eternal,  Cataracts of Cerebral Chaos…

In the cold gray mask of morning I cry out
But no one feels the sound that I shout

And you don’t hear me through the tears you’ve shed
In the dreamworld that you’ve found
Will one day drag you down
The mirror of illusion reflects the smile

The world from your back door seems so wide
The house, so tiny it is from inside
A box that you’re still living in
I cannot see for why
You think you’ve found Perception’s doors
They open to a lie

Briefly, I emerge from the maelstrom at the shout of a remembered quote, echoing off the canyon walls:

One of the most important rules to follow on the Path to Contentment is to erase, on ongoing basis, any and all memories that evoke strong emotions:  good or bad. Especially the bad, which tend to burrow deeper and create far many more encrypted-password copies of themselves in different regions of the cerebellum.

[Alambusa IV: “Recombinant AI and other neuroquantal speculations”: Rakshasa Press, 2144 CE]

I try and follow this principle by efforts to keep up with what is being researched – and sometimes, discovered – in science. Usually, within minutes of reading something I achieve that utterly blissful amoeba-like state of complete blankness that restores equanimity with the blessed knowledge that with each passing second I understand even less than I did before, and that the end is in sight…but I’m never quite there (or I wouldn’t be writing this, would I?)

Consider this gem of an insight into the nature of ‘quantum entanglement’, from a most wonderful article dated 22 February 2023 in the Quanta Magazine  titled ‘Physicists Use Quantum Mechanics to Pull Energy out of Nothing’ [read it here]:

The trouble arises from the bizarre nature of the quantum vacuum, which is a peculiar type of nothing that comes dangerously close to resembling a something. The uncertainty principle forbids any quantum system from settling down into a perfectly quiet state of exactly zero energy. As a result, even the vacuum must always crackle with fluctuations in the quantum fields that fill it. These never-ending fluctuations imbue every field with some minimum amount of energy, known as the zero-point energy. Physicists say that a system with this minimal energy is in the ground state. A system in its ground state is a bit like a car parked on the streets of Denver. Even though it’s well above sea level, it can’t go any lower…”

I just love this idea of a ‘peculiar type of nothing that comes dangerously close to resembling a something.’

It reminds me of the description of the One in every religious book I’ve read.

It also reminds me of exactly how I felt when I first heard Rahul Gandhi explain, at length, his vision for India’s socio-economic development.

[Mercifully, this 5-month-old reminisce on nothing, tantamount to nothing, ended here…indeed, I’d forgotten all about it till today. ]

How time flies.

How time stands still.

Quick! Hit the delete button!